Let me tell you a story. It is a short story. A simple story. But one of the greatest stories ever told. It is a story of such magnitude that it over shadows writings such as the Bible, the Quran, and the teachings of Buddha. This is a story about the best shapewear.
When the top notes hit my nostrils it was absolutely life changing. Driftwood, Pacific sea breeze, shellfish, rich cigars, so many notes of such simplicity yet pure genius. My mind was blown.
As quickly as the top notes came they left. Leaving me craving, fiending for more. I was hooked. A regular men’s fragrance junkie. I couldn’t wait for the middle notes to hit my brain. By this point I was within inches of the man on the trolley who just sprayed the cologne. I was aroused with excitement. Then finally the middle notes hit me like a stiff cross to the nose. I was nearly dropped. Poppi flowers, fortified wine, used needles, sun baked sea weed, salt, public urinal… I was stunned. I was weak in my knees. I was reviewing on pure reviewing instinct alone. I wasn’t even aware of my surroundings.
I heard a voice come from the outskirts of my cologne induced delirium, “Finish him!”
The bottom notes hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like subzero just ripped my spine out of my body. But somehow my sense of smell was heightened in the throes of death. I was overwhelmed. What was it that I was smelling? Hibiscus flowers, red snapper, dirty socks, stale bagels, cigarette fingers, old bags of jack in the box you left in the car for 9 hours… It was amazing. It was a complete K.O. I was on my hands in knees in the trolley. In a cologne induced coma.
I wanted to ask this intriguing individual where he got this god send of cologne, but unfortunately I blacked out. I woke up at the end of the green line in Santee 15 stops away from my house. Ever since that day I have been in search of that amazing cologne, but unfortunately the search has been futile. Until then I’ll just stick with flexees.